NOTE ...And I offer a whole list of personally created "Therapies" to help you.

Roller Coaster of Life

Roller Coaster of Life
Life's Ups and Downs
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Friday, June 20, 2008

Take time to laugh at our self


I do all sorts of weird things now a days and I just laugh at myself, because it is better than crying. Depression, aging, and all sorts of things cause us to become too serious at times. So I love it when something makes me laugh (besides “House, MD”)

I was sent the following, in an e-mail...


MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU


Hello, and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9..

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.